I had a time crisis a few days back. It's ridiculous that I still haven't gotten a grasp on the nature or concept of time. (Wth happened to May??) I should start planning my hamburger costume for Halloween if I want to celebrate it at the end of October like most Americans, instead of on some random day in November.
Dedicated most of my time to finishing up my school term. Now, I'm quite relieved that the term has more or less drawn to a close because it's left me frustrated and pessimistic and defeated (triple whammy), even though what I want to and should be is happy and alive. I'm constantly being told by the media that these feelings of dissatisfaction and emptiness are fueled by much bigger, underlying issues in my life. Perhaps lately, I've been consuming too much of the wrong kind of soda, listening to the wrong songs, and also shopping for all the wrong labels. I don't think many people realise how much effort it takes to filter through what we should and shouldn't believe. On some days, I'll mindlessly swallow all that is told to me and accept that I'm not good enough without an Apple product or this season's Chanel clogs.
I made my mom cry at breakfast yesterday. (Unintentionally.) Better than never, I mumbled an "I'm sorry" 7 hours later. She's still pretending that she cannot see me so I'm going to lie down next to her and try to make her laugh, which is necessary, because that would mean I'd been forgiven and that she loves me again.
Anyway, I think I'll go on adventure later on in the day. I should probably call Shaun first- at a reasonable time like 4 PM- because it can be dangerous to go on an adventure alone. Shaun is a more levelheaded person than I am, which means he's very much in control of his emotions, doesn't get upset as quickly or as easily as I do, and makes logical decisions. He also jaywalks much better than I do, which is why we hold hands whenever we cross streets. We hold hands while walking along streets and in shopping malls as well, but with motives that I feel have nothing to do with safety.
There are other reasons why I'd call Shaun, too, reasons much more poetic but just as authentic. Hopefully, I find another day to share them with you.
Gtg. Have a good weekend..
