I don't usually use thought to avoid participating in life but because the teacher didn't allow us to talk to one another or listen to our iPods (and I didn't know how to do my homework) during detention last Friday, I took the opportunity to think about my life- which I lived, but hardly ever thought about.
Watching my friends (some heartbroken, some in love, others just hanging around) and a few TV series (Brothers & Sisters, Gossip Girl, Skins, How I Your Mother), made me recognise and appreciate that most people have their own ideas and versions of love which are constantly evolving. I definitely can't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it means for me.
Currently, the tenet that love is not a feeling, but a capability seems to be gaining more momentum in my life. I don't know the exact significance of this, but I find it very moving when you ask someone to please take your heart- with all of its stains and scars- and they do. And they don't try to make you feel shame. And when they ask if you could do the same for them, you say yes. And you still want to be with them more than any other person.
Shaun gave me a red daisy last night which immediately put everything back in the places they belonged much quicker and more effectively than the quiet ever did. As much as this makes me feel uneasy and anxious, I guess sometimes it's all right to trust someone else to fix you up again.
Bons baisers.
