My mind started misbehaving just as the street lights came on, which forced us into catching an early train home. My fears, exacerbated by excess/unnecessary baggage from my previous (truly traumatizing) relationship with a total douche, ran out of control. As a result, Shaun had to spend the remainder of the night putting things back into perspective for me.
My ex boyfriend had been cheating on me ever since we started going out. (Of course, everyone but me was clued- up. Obviously. Duh. Arrgh.) And when I say cheat, I wish I meant he got drunk once and fooled around with one girl and then felt bad about it. But there were several girls, on several occasions- drunk and sober. And I guess he never felt bad. Kind of like Tiger Woods. But way less cool.
Our relationship should have ended sooner rather than later, because he affected me in the worst way possible. Unfortunately, I was always ready to forgive because I was never told enough to make me want to stay away. And even when I was told a bit, I never did listen or believe enough. (Oops, my bad.) When I eventually found out enough though, it made me become so seriously retarded, and I couldn't help but doubt everything about everything- especially myself. If I had thought someone would notice or care, I’d have cut myself.
Although what he did was shitty and selfish, he did care about me (arguable, but true to a certain/small extent) and fold me a couple of hundred paper hearts. But love sucks when it's one sided, which is why you should always try to avoid it at all costs until you find someone who respects you as a person and makes you feel infinite. (And remember to reciprocate back.)
Good luck! Xoxo.
