Tithe

I feel strange today. Like death. Probably cause I got very little sleep last night. And I actually stayed in school till the sun was almost setting to finish up some of my assignments (despite being ideologically opposed to work), when I could've gone home at 2 PM to read a chapter of something by Malcolm Gladwell, a bit of Vladimir Nabokov and maybe even a trashy fashion magazine with lots of cleavage. (So weird.) I've been doing a lot of things that I wouldn't usually do, and at the same time, I've stopped doing a lot of the things I'd usually do. I think I might be growing up, or something.

The fact that I've refrained from trying to kill other people with my eyes (because it's lame and doesn't work) loans credence to this theory. And, with the exception of Monday morning when I told Judith her shoes were ugly (because they really WERE ugly and somebody HAD to tell it to her face), I say a lot of nice things now. Even though half/most of the time I'm insincere, I don't think anyone really minds or can tell anyway. I'm just giving diplomacy a chance.

Click this.

I almost forgot to wake up for school this morning. (My mom still thinks I forgot on purpose.) But the phone rang and I picked up. Shaun told me to have fun in school, I told him to have sweet dreams. (The time difference between Begonia Drive and Begonia Walk is about 12 hours.) Sometimes (especially before I get my period) I freak out and become so afraid of losing something/someone I love that I refuse to love anything/anyone at all, but then I remember that "adventure without risk is Disneyland" and it somehow helps me to stop wasting myself (and what I have) on fear.

(What is your deepest fear?)

Oh dear, I have typed so much. I got to go now. Goodbye grasshoppers